I’m in the phone booth across the street.
It’s trashed, but I’m hiding here.
Calling on my cell.
Why can’t we talk again?
I’ll keep ringing!
Don’t answer – I’ll keep ringing.
Switch off the sound – I’ll vibrate in your pocket!
But why can’t you answer?
Saw your mother just now. She going to work? The store?
All those things she said.
I told you…
Why didn’t you listen?
Godsake. Pick up!
When I don’t hear your voice things go… wrong.
Can’t we talk again? I want to tell you…
Sirens. Your mother’s called the cops!
I can’t control myself. I’m coming…
I just want to show you some… affection.
Don’t leave me hanging…
The above was written for the Friday Fictioneers flash fiction forum. The prompt: a clapped out US telephone booth. As soon as I saw it, Blondie’s “Hanging on the Telephone” started on a loop in my head. Perhaps I should add that I’m aware the illustration limits the text; in fact there’s no reason to assume the speaker is a woman. Blame Debbie Harry 🙂
Dear John,
First of all, I haven’t seen a real phone booth in ages. Second of all, I really enjoyed your story. The frantic dialogue told the story and the illustration is the exclamation point.
Shalom,
Rochelle
The frantic, frustrated aspect of the individual calling really came though.
Not fair being able to illustrate as well as write!! 🙂
janet
Darling, now I’ve got Blondie’s Greatest Hits playing in your honour. Nice work.
Well I like this. Stalker love can be so annoying. I would have called the cops too, she looks pretty scary! I envy your artistic talent.You illustration is the cherry on top of a great story!:D
“Stalker love can be so annoying.” That was an interesting comment. Not quite the adjective I’d use. Personally, I think I’d be scared – especially by this woman. I was pleased with the way the illo turned out – glad you liked it too – but I wouldn’t like to meet her.
the story with the illustration brilliant..
Thank you.
Nicely built from anxious to frenzied!
great story… great illustration Randy
Great – that type of callers sounds eerie.. and a police at the end. Great illustration.
I loved Blondie, although only a couple of her songs caught my attention. You picked a fabulous muse to center on!
Great character.
Interesting. I’m not sure whether to dismiss the caller as a crazy stalker or feel bad for her. Nice dialogue.
Your illustration is great. This is so frantic I want to know so much more about the character.
When I don’t hear your voice things go… wrong.
Brilliant!
Really like the illustration and the sense of sheer desperation conveyed. Well done.
Many aspects, the guy’s mother phoning the cops, the protrectress and the menacing female stalker inflicting harm. Well written. Insightful.
Lots going on here. Really enjoyed this one.
Many thanks to all my commentators. I’ve been unavoidably absent from my computer for a couple of days, so this is a blanket thanks to AnElephantCant, Randy Maize, Björn Rudberg, Joe Owens, Neens, David Stewart, Emma, Perry Block, petrujviljoen and Shirley McCann. Your comments are much appreciated!