The boy was slashing through the head-high grass with a stick. An explorer, he was cutting his way through a jungle.
The meadow sloped up to a little knoll. On the knoll, enclosed by a white spindle-fence, was a grave of broken stones. He was hoping to find snakes. Imagined them waking from their winter sleep, basking on the stones in the sun.
But when he got to the fence a woman, who must have been sitting on the grave, stood up. Her head and shoulders appeared suddenly above the grass.
‘Who’s that?’ Sharply.
The boy crouched down. What had he woken?
The above was written for the Friday Fictioneers flash fiction forum. The prompt: a photograph of white painted metal railings and tall grass.
Great story, creative build-up to a very intriguing conclusion!
John, this is such a great build-up, and the drawing is a great addition to the picture.. Would be interesting to see the original 167 word story.
Thanks Björn. The 167 word draft looked to be swelling rather, so I never finished it, took a step back and cut it down. However, I may go back to it, let it swell again and see what develops. If I think it’s readable I’ll let you know.
John, very nice! And your drawing is excellent, too.
janet
Thank you, Janet. I appreciate your comments!
Dear John,
Good build and love the illustration. Nice touch.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle. Yes, the illo turned out nicely too.
Amazing creativity with the drawing and the story
Thank you Shreyank. Very kind.
I love your Gravatar BTW!
Great image of him beating his way through the grass. I’m intrigued to know what he has awoken.
Interesting, and nice pictures. So, what has he woken? 🙂
I enjoyed this story. Wondering if he really woke the dead or just some woman with a story of her own? Love the drawing too.
Thank you. Glad you liked the illo too.
Thank you Kelly!
Several commentators wonder… what has he woken? Yes indeed.
And what does he think he’s woken?
What does he imagine he’s woken?
What will he have woken when he comes to tell this story later?
And as Kelly says, surely the woman he woke (if that’s what happened), surely she has a story of her own.
I was quite pleased with the open-endedness.
Thanks for all comments!